Stats Made Easy

“Why don’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? …(dramatic pause)… “The P is silent!”

I had to laugh out loud at this dad joke reported by Scott Simon of NPR in this June 15 Weekend Edition.

I came up with a good one myself the other day while helping my daughter Carrie fill up tires on a new bike carrier that she bought for my grandson. To be sure of enough pressure, I “aired” on the high side. Explaining this to her, I held up my arms and fingered air-quotes when I said “aired”. Carrie gave me an eyebrow-raised, squinty-eyed, pursed lips look, from which I could tell that she was greatly amused.

Nothing will deter me from telling my awesome dad jokes. However, I wish they would elicit more guffaws than groans. Fortunately, neuroscientists at University College London (UCL) have come to my rescue with advice on how to generate LOLs from puns and other forms of high humor dispensed by dads like me. The trick is to play a sound track of genuine laughter just after telling the joke. (It turns out that Hollywood knew what they were doing by dubbing in laugh tracks.) As reported in “Modulation of humor ratings of bad jokes by other people’s laughter” (Current Biology, July 22, 2019), the UCL team provided empirical evidence that adding laughter indeed increases how funny a joke is perceived to be.

Despite all this attestation from Hollywood and neuroscientists, I remain skeptical of laughter being infectious. Although I always laugh loudly after every one of my dad jokes, I keep getting these weird looks a la Carrie. Or when I attempt to lighten things up with my wife, it generally elicits only the standard “very funny, Mark”. (She knows that this is the only way to get me to temporarily cease and desist on humor.) Although I enjoy laughing at my own jokes, it seems that I need an outside source of chuckles to keep the guffaws going.

Central Casting in Hollywood supplies professional laughers at $100 per hour, but that’s too pricey. For now, I might keep this canned laugh track handy on my smartphone hidden in my back pocket. If that doesn’t work, I can always dig out my flatulence-simulating whoopee-cushion. This never fails to get attention!

P.S. Little known fact: The first dad joke on record is “Cleopatra walks by and Julius sees her.” An alternative version is “Look! Cleopatra walks by. Julius, seize her!” Now, play the laugh track. These puns are hilarious!